My Semi-Bestfriend in Ruins

It has been months since the gothic sweetheart last showed herself in the cyberworld. She dreads it actually. The fact that she’s been gone for too long because she’d been busy the past two months. She thinks being busy is such a PATHETHIC excuse. Yes, capital P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C. So, never ever, under any circumstance, use “because I’m busy” as an excuse when you go talk to her when, say, you “forgot” that she was your friend and all of a sudden you just ignore her one day ‘cuz you’re “busy”.

Okay, I know I’m sort of freaking out right now. But I have every right to do so. Just like all the other girls out there who got dumped by their bestfriend. Or in my case, “semi-bestfriend.” Whichever way, it still hurts. Always does. Bigtime.

So why don’t I start from the beginning?

As ironic as it sounds, it all started with an “I-can’t-stand-to-be-within-a-5-mile-radius-near-you-much-less-be-with-you-every-day-cuz-whatever-this-is-isn’t-working-anymore-so-go-away-and-leave-my-life-before-its-too-late” kind of song. I’m talking about Kris Allen’s pre-breakup track, The Truth (which by the way, is probably his most underrated song ever). So what happened exactly?

I was part of this so called Speech Choir group in school. It was a Saturday and we were rehearsing our piece. I was wearing a yellow shirt, jeans and flip flops. I was really, really late already. I shoved my phone inside the pocket of my jeans and zoomed all the way to the rehearsal venue. Then off we go firing line after line after line of our piece.

See, there was this part wherein we had to lie down all of a sudden. So I was lying on the floor then bang! Kris Allen’s voice started singing The Truth. Turns out, the phone’s play button was hit by, I dunno, the floor I guess. I panicked. I glanced on my left side and taadaaa. Weird guy lying next to me was looking at me weirdly as if I was “the weird person” not him. It was obvious he heard the music so I just stared at him then we both laughed at the insanity and nonsense of it all.

It was pretty stupid. I knew that. But little did I know, that was the starting point of my friendship with a “slightly different” boy.

We became friends in an instant. He was like the “guy-version” of me. Like, a real boy-Andy. We talked about deep stuff, perfect people, freedom and strawberries. We can talk about anything in just a matter of seconds. He was like an alien for other people but a fellow alien for me. He was cool and soulful and smart. He was someone I could talk to easily.

But things change. It always does.

There was no huge event that happened. No major fight. Not even the slightest speck of argument nor a misunderstanding. It just happened all of a sudden. Not in the sense like one minute he’s here, the next minute he’s gone. No, he was ALWAYS here. It was like you’re here but you’re NOT here. Sort of like talking with a boy who’s reading a book with his headphones on. It was maddening.

And very sad, too.

I don’t remember what happened. All of a sudden, we were a pair of strangers. It wasn’t me. It definitely wasn’t me. He was so cold. Like I was a wall he just passed by. Gone were everything we had once. The conversations, the stupid jokes. It was all gone. And I didn’t know where it was.

I asked my friends what happened to us. They said he’s probably just busy ‘cuz he’s a senior and he has loads of responsibilities under his belt. I say go screw him.  Is that reason enough? Is being busy enough to ignore your friends? Can you be really, really busy that you can’t even greet or offer a smile to some random person anymore?

What the heck.

I’m not in love with him if that’s what you’re thinking. As in romantically speaking. Nah. He’s like my clone but falling for him isn’t part of my to-do list when I first met him. It would be like Wednesday Adams dating the kid from The Sixth Sense.

So, anyway.

Why did we fall apart? What happened?

I honestly don’t know, too. But maybe, the answer lies somewhere. Maybe we’re not meant to be friends after all. We just collided in some way or another. Or maybe it’s all just some stupid dream. I don’t know. I’m clueless.

But I do know that despite all his weirdness and his neurotic self, I want him back.

Despite everything else.

M.K.T.

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